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What I’m Reading…

Posted in Meandering by Rachel on the February 7th, 2009

I’ve been trying to get back into reading. That sounds odd. I’m a reader. I used to read books while walking home from school. Heck, I’ve read books on the way to and from work whilst walking to or from bus stops. I even remember reading while driving in “rush hour” (ha) traffic when I lived in Seattle. I’m a reader. It’s what I do. I love reading.

But somewhere along the line I stopped reading. I got busy. All these voices on the internet seemed to be clambering for my attention. They all wanted to be read: blogs, posts, threads, forums, ads, announcements, statuses…AUGH! So my brain was getting reading, but it wasn’t getting the stories. So, I’d turn on the tv for company because at least then I’d get the stories I crave. Well, maybe not THE stories I crave, but stories, nonetheless.

And yes, it’s effected my writing. Instead of writing for myself, I have been answering all those blogs, posts, threads, blogs, and statuses. When I actually opened a document to write in it I went blank. I opened a document to revise – with suggestions from readers in hand – and go blank. Use the same words over and over again (see previous sentences) and not ever use the good vocabulary deep in my brain. It was all in my head. I would think about it before I went to bed or when I got up in the morning, but by the time I got in front of the computer, it was dead in my head. A big piece of granite. And I like to think I’m more of a geode type person.

Reading and writing is as much exercise as walking everyday or doing crunches or whatever. If you don’t do it on a semi-regular basis, you end up losing it. It’s harder to get back into it the longer you stay away. So, I did something I don’t do very often. In fact, I only do it when I’m being paid by someone to do it. I printed out the stories I’ve been working on to revise and write so I could sit down not at the computer, but at the kitchen table with a red pen and go through and add and scribble and cross out and re-cross out and rewrite – you get the idea. It’s still hard. My brain doesn’t want to stick to it. I get restless and want to check the computer.

Same with reading. I haven’t been enchanted by anything lately enough to want to read it. Haven’t checked anything out of the library, and didn’t want to spend the money on anything. And didn’t want to pick up anything I had at home that I’d either read or not read yet. Last month, two of the members of our writers group read excerpts from their books and I thought, that’s it. If nothing else, I need to read those two books and support those two writers.

That was my goal. It took a little doing, but once I got into the books, it was like riding a bike. I enjoyed them both. Eventually, I’ll write reviews on them, but I haven’t yet. I haven’t been able to get myself to clean my apartment. And going through my day — I love my job. But once I get home, just going through the revisions, seems to take every ounce of discipline I have.

Now, in case you think this is just one more angsty blog out in the blogosphere, it’s not. I’m just kind of sharing what’s going on in my head. I haven’t been posting much because like I said – my brain is just not there. Just going through my emails is too much some days, and other days, zip! they’re done. I know that this is part of a cycle. Things are going well in my life. Bills are getting paid. I have food in the fridge. I have people who love me. The wheel of creativity seems to be on the down side lull right now though. And that just is what it is.

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Leigh Purtill said,

on February 10th, 2009 at 10:38 AM

I agree -these things absolutely are cyclical. To prepare myself for writing mode, I get myself into reading mode and cram as much in as I can. Cuz when I’m writing, there’s no room for extracurricular reading.
Ophelia said,

on February 18th, 2009 at 11:07 AM

I have a stack of books i need to read. “Team of Rivals” about Lincoln, “The Cold War: A New History”…when I do get a spare moment, I end up sleeping. I need to go away somewhere that has no WiFi or cell phone access.:O))

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